Myths about Developing Values

Myth 1 - We can teach values. Historically lectures by parents and Moral science
books have been two mains sources of teaching values. Result is that every
successive generation feels that the next generation is LOW on values. Bottom
line: We cannot teach values, we can only make children aware of them through
our actions.

Myth 2 - We cannot teach values. While we cannot teach values, children are
always learning them - seeing how we operate in our real life. A mother slaps
her child because she is irritated then goes ahead and teaches the child to take
care of others and never hit others :-) Bottom line: Our actions speak louder
than words.

Myth 3 - There are some universal values which I must teach to my children.
There is only one thing that's universal and that is change. Rest is contextual!
Yes, there are some common values like honesty and trust ... but show me a man
who hasn't deviated from these values as per situation. So much for them being
universal. Bottom line: Lets help children realize the value of a value in their
life and their times (which is different from our life and our times).

Myth 4 - Negative Values are not acceptable. So greed is not good. But what if
that makes me work harder. Oh, in that case we will call it ambition! Since
values can be subjective, negativity itself is subjective. If it works for me, I
keep it. Bottom line: Lets enlarge the definition of effectiveness, not manage
the tools that lead to it.

Myth 5 - We need to show negative values for children to learn positive. Most
moral stories operate on this principle - Show the bad versus good and
automatically good will make sense. One, you run the risk that child may like
the 'bad' more (the drunk seem to be having all the fun). Two, in real life
things are not so clearly black and white. Bottom line: Just let the child have
as many learning experiences - both good and bad. More 'data', more
sensitization, will probably help children refine their judgments better.

Myth 6 - A child does not know what is good from bad. Maybe true, but then,
unless he learns how to discern what is good from bad we are only feeding him,
not teaching how to fish! Bottom line: Lets again look at empowering them to
become more aware of their decisions and resultant consequences.


 

By Ratnesh & Aditi Mathur
For www.geniekids.com

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