The Myths of Confidence - part 10
The biggest myth of confidence is that 'confidence is very important'!

It is so much of a belief that people who lack self confidence actually freeze, they stop themselves from trying, claiming that they have no confidence.

A man climbed up a mountain and on reaching the peak shouted "I am at the top".
"Are you sure?", a calm voice asked.
The man looked around, couldn't see anything higher then himself, so said again, "I AM at the top"
"Are you sure?", the calm voice repeated.
The Man was confused, little unsure now, "I think I am at the top"
"And who is telling you that?, the voice inquired.
"My mind", replied the man.
"Now point at yourself", the voice directed
The man pointed a finger at his chest.
"When I say yourself, you point at your heart, while who is at the top, is your mind", the voice concluded.
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Is confidence really that important?
Is there something more important? Something that will help us achieve more?
Here is my list of things more important than self confidence.

~ An attitude of let me try - even if the attempt fails.
~ A realization that I NEVER FAIL - only an attempt fails!
~ An approach that each experience is more important - not whether that makes us less or more confident - rather does it leaves us more WISER.
~ An understanding that whether I tasted success or failure - its history - hence - "carpe diem" (means *seize the day*)
~ And perhaps the most important life's operating principle - "Keep Learning"

You may or may not agree with relative importance of these versus confidence - but do look at these invaluable insights provided by the great educationist John Dewey. These five quotations would illustrate and guide you as parent to develop the above list in your child

1) Knowledge is the tool for managing experience - no such thing as genuine knowledge and fruitful understanding except as the offspring of doing.
[Can I give child an experience of whatever I want the child to learn - can i make him feel, taste and mix sugar (and sand) in water and so on]

2) Thinking is the method of intelligent learning, of learning that employs and rewards the mind.
[Can I ask the child to think about what he learned when he tripped on the ledge, rather then lecture about seeing and walking]

3) The great thing is not to avoid mistakes but to have them take place under conditions such that they can be utilized to increase intelligence in the future.
[Can I make the child to experiment with different number of spoons added to his milk so that he discovers what quantity is best as per his taste - purely out of hit and trial]

4) As an individual passes from one situation to another, his world, his environment, expands or contracts. What he has learned in the way of knowledge and skill in one situation becomes an instrument of understanding and dealing effectively with the situations which follow.
[When my is child struggling to open a bottle, can I guide the child to open the same based on his past experience like something he or she opens daily, say a tap]

5) Learning is active. It involves reaching out of the mind. It involves organic assimilation starting from within. It is the child and not the subject-matter which determines both quality and quantity of learning.
[Isn't confidence all about learning. Isn't learning all about growing oneself from within. Isn't growing constantly and meaningfully stretching the zone of comfort into the zone of discomfort.

As John Dewey said, "Education is not a preparation for life; education is life itself!"

Also inviting all parents and teachers to attend an exciting and VERY EXPERIENTIAL session on learnings from John Dewey this Saturday, 18th Nov'06 - 2:30 TO 5:30PM.

 

By Ratnesh & Aditi Mathur
For www.geniekids.com

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