Ratnesh & Aditi

Where is the leader in my child?

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Wed, 14 May 2008 10:39:00 +0000

Where is the leader in my child? How do I develop leadership qualities in my child? What can I do as a parent?

The articles below throws some insights on the above, but before that a quick summary of few geniekids program that would help in discovering the leader in your child

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1. Expanding Horizons @ Mukruti, Ooty - an outbound nature camp exclusively for children 8-14 years (without parents), 26th to 30th May 2008. We believe nature brings out the best (leadership) in each one of us. More details

2. Success Saturday - Geniekids premium intensive developmental weekend program for 3-13 year olds - develop qualities like self esteem, self confidence, social skills, decision making & problem solving, independence, responsibility, emotional skills etc. 30 Saturdays, eight months, starting 5th July08, four different age groups. More details

3. Train the Trainer - Why only put children into programs, why not yourself understand about children, about their learning and development? Why not work with children and empower them in a holistic way, if that interests you - in a school or in a center like ours, or even start a center/ preschool of your own. The best news is that working with children while is immensely satisfying, it is also very flexible (many part time options). And remember the first beneficiary are your own children! Twice a week in mornings for four months, starting 17June08. More details
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Is there a leader in my child?

Who will bell the cat?

Silence in mouse land stressed the predicament. After what seemed a long time, a small, almost timid "I will" from the little mou, shattered the silence.

For little mou hell broke lose. Almost every adult in the mouse land literally pounced on little mou, "you are just a child"; "don't be foolish"; "this is adults job"; even a curt "shut up" from the papa mou.

Well almost everybody, except for grandpa mou, he intercepted the din, "Maybe we should listen to little mou, maybe he actually can, in any case none of us want to do it or even know how to do it".

And before the "BUTs" could come in, Grandpa mou continued, "In any case, unless somebody leads us, we'll all be soon dinner to the cat". So lets go ahead with him, cause he is ready to be the leader!

[to be continued]

---------------------------------------------------------

Ready to be a leader!
If only we were to explore this paradigm.
Check, as a parent how do you operate.
A Manager parent- one who typically decides what needs to be done, gives instructions of HOW to do it, follows up till it is done (and get full marks for getting it done :-)
or a
A Leader parent- one who envisions what needs to be done, then empowers the follower, the child(ren), to do it in their own way. One who is okay with failures, accepts failures as learning opportunities and constantly encourages the followers to keep trying.
or a
A Follower parent - one who with the leader (the child) builds a shared vision (thus helping the child to be goal oriented), then simply lets the child lead, thereby bringing to fore, and developing, all the leadership resources that are already there in the child (atleast thats the presumption of a follower parent).

An example: A child comes home after playing and might be hungry.

Manager parent response: "You must be hungry. I have made milk for you (amidst groans from the child). Quickly drink it. I don't want you to play around. Sit here and drink it. etc" (sigh)
Leader parent response: "You must be hungry. Let me know what you will like to have." Also lets the child decide how much and how the child wants to eat. (:-)
Follower parent response: "Hey, welcome back, you look good".
Thats all! Yes thats all, for the follower parents waits for the child to order food, if required by the child! Remember this parent is the follower, the slave ;-). In fact the follower parent may further ask, "I want your help in making myself a healthy being, help me chart out what to eat, how much and when to eat - etc. :-)))))))

Check, as a parent how do you operate. What percentage of your time are you in each of these.We leave it you to introspect what effect each of these approaches will have on your child's development. We leave it for you to decide what will bring out the leader in your child.
According to us none of the approach is 'right' - but be aware which one are you using. Also out of your day what percentage of time/ occasions you would like to use a specific approach. Pl experiment with the different paradigms, develop your own formula, as you discover the leader inside your child. Bon Voyage!

Interesting to note, is our observation, that each child is born with leadership qualities - they are full of initiative, motivation, resilience, goal based approach, people skills etc. All we need is to recognize these and reinforce them in children. How you do it - is your choice!

Next article we talk about leadership lessons that we have learnt from the children, and we also conclude the story of little mou!

Do your comments below

Aditi-Ratnesh
For Geniekids

No Side

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 08:26:00 +0000

The whole concept of "NO side" or 'no self' or 'no fixed method or view' or 'no permanence is truly amazing.

Somehow all my life I have been communicated to - that there should be one side, one view, one self......

to change that while has been a challenge (and continues to be) - it has been truly liberating :--))))))))

I thank aditi & my children and also all children with whom I have worked (and that includes ttt too :-)

to help me realise this and make it into an operating philosophy.

I am reminded of a poem - of which I do not remember - neither the author nor the exact wordings - so here is it as my version (my words):

Who is in the boat

If you are gently drifting in your boat

and your boat collides with another boat - in which there is nobody

chances are that you will not abuse or argue with the boat

If you are gently drifting in your boat

and your boat collides with another boat - in which there is somebody

chances are that you start abusing and arguing with the person in the other boat

Hence

how about making yourself
like the boat without somebody in it!

ratnesh

-----Original Message-----
From: Aditi- wrote

17 March 2008 10:25

Read below the article sent by aruna

It is difficult to see the other side - to see others side you need to have no side. I am working with myself to achieve this new approach. If any time you feel me to be on my side (stick to my point of view) - guide me. Since I am consciously working on this I will welcome all your guidance.

share your thoughts
Aditi

The train has started moving. It is packed with people of all ages, mostly with the working men and women and young college guys and gals. Near the window, seated a old man with his 30 year old son. As the train moves by, the son is overwhelmed with joy as he was thrilled with the scenery outside..

" See dad, the scenery of green trees moving away is very beautiful"

This behavior from a thirty year old son made the other people feel strange about him. Every one started murmuring something or other about this son."This guy seems to be a krack.." newly married Anup whispered to his wife.

Suddenly it started raining... Rain drops fell on the travelers through the opened window. The Thirty year old son , filled with joy " see dad, how beautiful the rain is .."

Anup's wife got irritated with the rain drops spoiling her new suit.

Anup ," cant you see its raining, you old man, if ur son is not feeling well get him soon to a mental asylum..and dont disturb public henceforth"

The old man hesitated first and then in a low tone replied " we are on the way back from hospital, my son got discharged today morning , he was a blind by birth, last week only he got his vision, these rain and nature are new to his eyes.. Please forgive us for the inconvenience caused..."

The things we see may be right from our perspective until we know the truth. But when we know the truth our reaction to that will hurt even us. So try to understand the problem better before taking a harsh action.

My Child, sex and ME!

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 09:10:00 +0000

A nine year old child:

I don’t know why mummy was so angry with me. Mummy told me not to sit with driver uncle – but he is very nice and in any case whats the harm? Today mummy was again angry when I was playing with him inside the car while waiting for mummy to come.

I also do not understand why Mummy does not allow me to go to my friend’s house for night stay.

Papa does not like me and Karan to sleep together - why he tells mummy that we should sleep on two separate beds?

A Mother of two growing kids:

How much I got embarrassed today when Rohan, my 4yr old son, came into the living room in front of everybody without underwear and was rubbing “there”. I shouted and asked him to immediately remove his hands from “there’. The other day he was saying he Tarini is his girl friends and he wanted to kiss her on lips just the way they showed in the movie. How Tarini’s mother shrieked and saved the situation just in time.

I am horrified. I never knew the words like girl friend, lip kiss or sexy till I was….. I sometimes worry - what next?

This is a common story of “modern” parents. Sometimes I wonder - are we really modern just for the name, are we really growing or are we still archaic as a society. In any case what is to be modern? Our parents thought we were too young to know about “few” things as a child. We still think the same. Our parents hid things from us. We also try! Though the world around us ensures that very little is actually hidden from them. Can we just busy our heads in the sand and assume nothing “wrong” is going to happen.

What if we break our own barrier and look at “few” things in better perspective. What if we move ahead and replace the word “few” with sex education. What if we first make ourselves more comfortable, educated and open about it.

We worry about child’s academics, exposure to sports, music, dance etc. We take them to umpteen classes. Yet we forget (or pretend to be ignorant) that a vital part of child’s growing up process is for the child to develop an awareness and understanding of own body, own desires and own feelings.

Result is that our teenagers are confused and many a times misinformed (their sources like peers, media, etc hardly being reliable or comprehensive or even rational). Hence, they are uncomfortable talking to their own parents about their feelings, emotions, and desires they go though at different ages of their development.

Before we talk about sexual education let us go back and check our own beliefs. Do we really think that some parts of the body are “not to talk about” or they in other terms are “embarrassing” or even “dirty”? If yes then how do we expect to make ourselves comfortable to talk about “sex education” or to give vital information to our kids. When a child is touching his/her genitals and parent responds by “chee! Dirty!” what do you think the child should assume is dirty – the act or genital itself, or he/she?

Child grows up little and starts exploring the world around and asks all kinds of questions and we give most eagerly answers to the best of our knowledge. But when a child ask question related to sex or relationships most us really do not know how to answer? We think children need clear and honest answers to their questions. All we need to is to prepare ourselves to prepare them!

Many believe that telling a child about sex would makes them sexually too mature too early. On the contrary, research indicates that children who have a clear understanding of sexual issues are more likely to behave responsibly. If we talk to our child with openness, honesty and trust - it paves the way for open communication not just about sexual issues but about any aspect of their life. The learning therefore is to start early, start now!

Do leave your comments below
By Aditi & Ratnesh
Please email if you want us to conduct a workshop called PREPARING MY CHILD SEXUALLY for (and in) your organisation or school.

Can my Child be a killer?

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 10:40:00 +0000

The question sounds chilling - in the wake of the so called cold blooded shooting of Abhishek Tyagi of Gurgaon's Euro International School by his classmates. Till it was happening in say, USA, we would always condemn another culture as 'less' then ours. But now it stares us point blank. Suddenly child psychologists are in demand for their opinion. "Why" and "what makes children do this" are the questions?

Take another data: over the past couple of years, in Bangalore alone, about 10 children have committed or attempted to commit suicide. Isn't that murder too - as or even more gruesome? Many of these children were actually brilliant, but......

Take another data, in our working with children for the past eight years, thousands of parents have come to us and asked, "Do you have any program like public speaking, or a program that does away his stage shyness, or that can make her speaking and expressing skills stronger" and so on.....
However, in the last eight years we have not had even one parent asking us, "Do you have a program to help my child express her feelings"

Forget children, have we learned how to express our feelings?
So how do we express our feelings, specially the negative ones, the anger, resentment, jealousy, bitterness, sadness, et al:
We shout, hit or hurt
or we cry
or we just shut up and clamp up and just suffer (and let the negative-ness run into our hormones causing all kinds of ailments)

Check these statements told to the child:
I've had enough, I am not going to talk to you.
I've had enough, you will get a slap now.
I've had enough - and (under our breath) wish I could just run away or kill myself.

To me this is not an expression of feelings. Rather it is letting the feelings take control of our behaviour.
Which means If I don't learn how to express my feelings, then

1. My own response is hardly appropriate or effective.
2. The child is also learning the same - that - let your feelings drive your behaviour - that its okay to be aggressive when I am feeling aggressive; that its okay to be passive even when hurt remains; and so on.
3. The child is NOT learning any emotional competence - neither how to become aware of feelings nor how to express them nor how to manage them.

The premise here is that when we are aware of our feelings and are able to express them, then the resulting behaviour is also appropriate as well as our emotions are better managed. Perhaps as a direct benefit I would be able to build better social skills also.

If we were to not only teach children maths and history, but also emotional skills. Unfortunately these can't be drilled or taught in a classroom; can't be put in a text book.

Fortunately these can be developed.
Fortunately these can be modeled.
Fortunately these can be facilitated.
Fortunately these can be the most important learning for a happy life.

Look out for more articles, workshops, web seminars and resources on developing emotional skills in children from Geniekids.
Meanwhile do leave your thoughts and comments below. (Click on comments below)

Aditi & Ratnesh

Angel's whisperings

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 18:06:00 +0000

My child came to me and said "I did not win the race today. I am not good in sports".
I said, "My dear child, you need to practice every day to win the race. The child who won the race practices everyday."

Next morning when my child got up she said
"I do not want to win race. I am going to support Meera to win the race next time also."
I retorted, "WHAT! What about you? What about your future?........"

Before I got up next day morning an angel came to me and whispered something in my ears.

I smiled and got up. I straight went to my child and said "Who won the race yesterday in the school? How can you support that child to win the race next time also?"

My child was not amused. She asked, "Did the angel come and whisper to you also?

When I told this to my husband he had many question in his mind:
"BUT…Why…My child….Race…..Win….. "

When I told this to my friend she too had the same worry in her eyes:
"BUT…Why…Your child….Race…..Win….."

When I told this to myself again – I saw a different world in front of me:
A world which "support the competence." A world where ALL are focused and goal oriented. A world where all are supporting each other to become best - yet all are successful. A world where all are genie and all are nurturing each other.

"Can you guess what the Angel whispered in my ears"

Aditi
(Leave your answer as a comment to this story - click on "comments" below)

Making your child more SOCIALLY intelligent

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 10:06:00 +0000

Hi
Listen to my audio article on developing socially competent children

you can just click on the link and your browser will play it streaming
or you can right click and download the same on your computer and then listen on computer on ipod or similar device.

Please leave our comments - thats more important

social%20intelligence%281%29.mp3

Ratnesh

Interacting with children

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Sat, 28 Jul 2007 04:20:00 +0000

In general how to we do INTERACTION with children?????

or rather in how many ways we do INTERACTION?????

many ways !! here are some:

ELABORATE - (as in details)

EXPLORE - (various dimensions of it)

EXPERIMENT - (try doing things with it)

EXCHANGE - (its meaning, its usage, its method etc)

EXAMPLES - (and more examples)

EXCEPTIONS (like non examples)

EXPLAIN - (answer why?)

EXTEND - (in any direction)

EXEMPLIFY - (illustrate using a drawing or metaphor)

EXPERIENCE (past experience)

EXPRESS - thoughts

EMOTIONS - feelings

EYE - how do I see it

EAR - how do I hear it

EXAMINE - touch - taste - smell

EXPLODE - connect in a crazy fashion - break into parts

EXAGGERATE - its meaning, use .......

EXECUTE - do it

enjoy

Aditi-Ratnesh

empowerment

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Thu, 10 May 2007 13:16:00 +0000

If you hear to lata's (& udit.N) bhajan

"O paalan hare"

from Movie: Lagaan

(attached for your listening pleasure)

then focus on this couplet from the song:

hare nahin nirbal dukh se

bhakti ko shakti do

loose translation would be

lest (we) the weak, get defeated by sorrow

give us the power to fight it

In a world when most people ask for happiness straight away

this song asking for empowerment is truly amazing

couple of quotations come to my mind:

Don;t ask for a lighter load, ask for a stronger back.

and

Its not the size of the dog in the fight that matters

its the size of the fight in the dog

hmmmmmmmmm...

Ratnesh

Meditative state

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Thu, 10 May 2007 07:05:00 +0000

Trupti Wrote:

hi ratnesh,

as i had written yesterday, we seem to get involved completely in some things to the extent of it being a meditative process. but, what happens when the process is interrupted? the trance is broken?

from my personal experience, i can say, that i get irritated if such a thing happens, even angry sometimes. I have also noticed that I tend to overlook some of my duties towards the house, kids or hubby in the process. if I am hooked on to something to that extent, all this co occurs with it. so, though I derive satisfaction, feel good about whatever I have done, enjoy the process of creating, I also tend to feel guilty at times because of the other things I have mentioned above. I don't know if others feel this way too. but, interruption, definitely leads to irritation for me. so, what says you about using creative energy for something and at the same time also keeping a balance of other responsibilities as well? how can one achieve both?

I know you will say , you have to be creative there too, but just asking for your comments or experiences. has it ever happened to you too?

trupti
=============================================

My response

Trupti ,

just because somebody throws a stone into a river- it doesn't stop flowing

just because you put a mast in the air, the wind dosne;t stop flowing

yes, eddies are produced, (eddies are water or air flowing in circular/ spiral motion) for some time, but then the flow continues............

********** a story ***********************

a monk was meditating with eyes closed.

a person came and asked him - "are you meditating?"

the monk opened his eyes and said quietly, "yes"

the person said, "Oh, okay, then I will come later" and went away.

A disciple watching this was puzzled, he said to the monk, "Sire, not only that man was foolish, his behaviour was most inappropriate, still you didn't say anything to him?

The monk replied, "That man came with a need, when I fulfill it, that's meditation".

*******************************************************

What this story also means to me is that we cannot be meditating at one time and not meditating another time.

or as osho said, "

To be and to be creative are synonymous.

similarly to be and to be meditative are synonymous.

in yoga terms we say - that person is YOGIC - always meditative :-)

hope this paradigm helps

ratnesh

learning & creativity

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Wed, 09 May 2007 06:18:00 +0000

Learning always lies in individuals - not institutions. Just because you belong to an institution, it doesn't necessarily transfer the learning to you. You will have to constantly make your own singular effort to make that learning happen - for you.

Some of us think, learning can happen "from" others. But this, according to me, is a misplaced notion. Learning rarely happen from others. It may happen "because" of others or "through" others - but not from others.

For centuries we have sprawled on a "guru's feet" thinking learning (or even sometimes enlightenment) will happen. Some of us even keep books below the pillow at sleep time :-). The belief is the same - somebody will "give" us learning. But that's not true, for me:

Others can only stimulate you - you still need to do;

Others can only show you - but you still need to see;

Other can only explain to you - but you still need to think;

Others can only bring you to the well, but you still need to drink;

Many of us join classes, courses, institutions and even organizations thinking that we would learn.

But unfortunately that doesn't happen. People go about wearing this degree or the institutions name on their forehead touting their assumed intellect.

Converse is also true - a friend told me - "I am what I am because of this institution I went to". I said to him, "Wrong - you are you because of yourself. A particular piece of earth might be more conducive to growth of a rose, but a rose bent on growing will even grow in rocks".

The key to learning is then work - effort, diligence, and industry.

And work requires energy. Our ancestors, recognized the importance of WORK and ENERGY as core to learning. That is why all our ancient institutions expounded the gurukul system of learning where work, effort, rigor and discipline were key aspects.

But carrying much more potential, much more impact is an energy which many of us miss - that is the creative energy. The sheer energy release when we embark on a creative Endeavour is truly unmatched. Time blurs, world around us blurs, past and future blurs, when this creative energy drives our complete being into a productive and industrious state of operation.

This is the energy of being in the present. As the neurons of our brain go into a tizzy - in such an unleash of energy, we are absorbing, doing, creating and most importantly learning. Creative energy is the energy of freedom, where thoughts, emotions and effort freely mingle and explode in many directions. The result is oneness with ourselves as well as the world around us.

Each one of us would have experienced this in some form or the other - be it cooking, gardening, writing a letter, sport, and so on.

Creative energy is the energy of doing - not from a mechanical state of mind - but from an unleashed, inhibited and unassumed mind which is bent on experimenting, exploring and experiencing - itself as well as the world around it.

So the question is what releases this creative energy. Very simply purpose with passion and persistence.

For most of us, many things that we do serve secondary or unreal purpose - like making money, or completing a chore. No wonder there is no excitement (passion), we take shortcuts (no persistence) and we feel "tired" even before doing it ( no creative energy). "Oh no!" - is the beginning exclamation.

But the moment we turn to something that we believe has a great purpose for us, what we are passionate about, what we would like to persist with no matter what odds - the great well of creative energy opens up magically inside us - providing us with whatever resources we would ever need.

Gandhiji, Mother Teresa, Hellen Keller are just few names which come to my mind immediately.

So if you are in search of learning - follow this flow:

Dream a passionate purpose - dive into it with full persistence - and with your then released energy create!

And if you in the business of teaching (which we all are) - I will ensure children around me are passionate about a purpose that their potential has dreamt off and then I would encourage them to follow their calling with the true freedom of creative energy.

Let me conclude this with a quote from Gandhiji:

“I claim to be no more than an average man with less than average abilities.
I have not the shadow of a doubt that any man or woman can achieve what I have,
if he or she would make the same effort and cultivate the same hope and faith."

Your thoughts!

Ratnesh

Leisure - a favourite poem by Davies

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Sun, 06 May 2007 11:12:00 +0000

Also my person favourite on this theme is W. H. Davies all time classic "leisure", which made the phrase "no time to stand and stare" a proverb.

here you go:

"LEISURE"

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

By Wm. Henry Davies.

King of imperfections

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Sun, 06 May 2007 11:11:00 +0000

i am what is called king of imperfections

i think less is done in the world because a lot of us wait for perfect offering or

less is explored because we are too afraid of getting it wrong or making a fool of our self

but I believe in trying, first few falls only tell me what not to do the next time and what better way than to expose self to the whole world

whats there to hide anyway - hai.na

if GOD were to hide all its imperfections, i wouldn't be in this world only !!!

ha ha ha

enjoying imperfections

ratnesh

Images of self

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Sun, 06 May 2007 11:09:00 +0000

Anjana Wrote:

I rewound myself to the self esteem session,, the discussion of an image a person has,, the identity etc etc and indeed there was a lot of churn inside me...

But out of this churn and after exploring I came out much more stronger to realize yes there are two people within me, but how does that matter?? and I think both complement each other, though most of the times my subconscious (Anju) is more bolder, stronger, courageous and so many other positive adjectives...as compared to the conscious Anjana who is necessarily not the true self all the times and is living up to others expectations which maybe constraining at times, and that is when I ask Anju to help...So am I not benefited???

My response

HOW ABOUT NOT HAVING ANY IMAGE - OR RATHER THOUSANDS OF IMAGES - NONE FIXED - JUST LIKE THE RIVER WHICH IS NOT THE SAME ANY MOMENT AS THE WATER THAT WAS NEAR YOU HAS ALREADY FLOWN DOWN - YET ITS STILL THE SAME RIVER !!

Giving children emotional stimulation

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Sun, 06 May 2007 10:49:00 +0000

Anjan Wrote: Hi Ratnesh
While riding back home, was just pondering about 'emotional stimulation'(ES), as to how would I go through the same?
It is not impossible, and not too easy too as ES does not happen
till you are in that situation, or have marvelous power of imagination or unless you are a professional actor.
I do not underestimate children but am sure they are not exposed to such hardcore realities (ex:the blind school today).
So as to say, to transport them to an emotional level?????.....
Anjana

My Reply:

I can make children experience sensitivity, make them experience alienation, make them experience anxiety over unknown and so on

I need not put the children in the SAME situation - I only need to put the children or myself into a situation which would evoke SIMILAR feelings

thats the KEY

all GOOD ACTORS, as you have rightly identified - do that

I have seen some not so effective directors saying to actors, "put or show sad emotion or scared emotion"

I have also luckily seen some great directors say to actors "remember the last time something happened and you were sad - relive that experience right now!

The later obviously works much better - because this is experiential (that is RELATING also)

hope you get what I am saying - EQ is such an amazing area - its not difficult

its just that you can't intellectualize over it and hence many of us think its difficult or even impossible

since we can't intellectualize over it children at times have ADVANTAGE over us

have you seen adults carrying a negative emotion or a grudge or a hatred over years - while have you seen children "patch" up soooooooon

people say children are innocent - but what I think is

that children by nature are JUST MORE AWARE .... but as they grow older .. they lose touch with their awareness - as we adults start IMPOSING our rights or wrongs

the other day a child came to geniekids and said to his father he wants his badge to read as "sonu" rather than "arya" his real (school name).

father asked why -

he said I hate "arya"

father said, "no you don't, you can't H-A-T-E anything"

i guess the father is far removed from his own emotions ......... otherwise he would have realised that he himself was right now hating "hate" :-)

Q.E.D

ratnesh

Which is the best parenting approach?

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Sun, 06 May 2007 10:29:00 +0000

i don't think one kind of parenting produces "better persons".
so approaches are neither good nor bad. For different people different approaches are less or more effective.
Hence, my first question to parents is WHAT IS YOUR OBJECTIVE AS A PARENT?
Once, i as a parent - i know what are my objectives - both for me and the child - then i can figure out which is the best way. My observation is that most parents today are confused what is their objective as a parent!!!
What is yours?

Ways to add zing to your theater show and your life and actually to anything

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Wed, 02 May 2007 16:41:00 +0000

. One person can do many things, roles
. Add energy
. Use props
. Team up
. Listen
. Do loudly
. Do fast
. Do slow
. Act properly
. Act not properly
. Act
. Do not act
. Express
. Use your body
. Use space
. Be realistic
. Be unrealistic
. Use gibberish
. Use silence
. Relate to each other
. Connect everything to something
. Interact with team mates, audience, yourself
. Use music
. Listen to music
. Sing music
. Play music
. Move to music
. Be creative
. Change speeds
. Use sounds
. Do things differently
. Be funny
. Do one-by-one
. Be clear
. Always show your front to people
. Be free - open & bindass
. Put feeeeeelings into everything
. Use levels
. Animate
. Better yourself
. Characters are fun
. Dialogues add interest
. Emotions are the essence
. 1 - role - 2 scene - 3 - story
. the DUS of success Do - Use - Say - something
. Be aware of what you are - Doing - feeling - thinking
. Be aware of what others are - Doing - feeling - thinking
. Above all enjoy yourself
. Trust yourself and others.
. Be generous especially in giving praise.

compiled by genie-dozen - eleven children who took part in theate rmagic
program at geniekids and me.

Ratnesh
------------------------------------
There is genie inside every child
come lets discover the magic
-----------------------------------
Website: www.geniekids.com

opportunity to learn

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Wed, 02 May 2007 16:34:00 +0000

Anjana wrote:

Ratnesh I have a doubt here. The cards turned up to be 'messy' acc. to the children too. Should I have guided them to use the material in my way…but then where is their creativity??or is it that they left with a learning to be more systematic next time they made a card???

My reply:

Anjana - what you need to do now - as you work beyond the few weeks of summer program is to start developing the art of process/ reflective questioning.

Then every such opportunity ( as above) is merely an opportunity to learn.

remember they will not AUTOMATICALLY learn to be more systematic - that is where our questioning and the process of

experience (do) ---> reflect (learning) ---> experience again ( as an opportunity to APPLY the learnings)

is vital

ratnesh

what is leadership?

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Wed, 02 May 2007 16:29:00 +0000

Somebody asked me the other day:
what is leadership?

I said - "Leadership is how we LEAD our lives and ourselves - EVERYDAY"

ratnesh
www.geniekids.com

I do not get offended

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Wed, 02 May 2007 16:13:00 +0000

also to clarify - I do not get offended - specially when people ask for their "right"

or even when they ask for their left (thats a pj :-)

there is one thing that I have learnt in life - perhaps my one of the most significant learning

that everybody is operating from their BEST CHOICE

and its about their needs and wants (and not really about me)

so lets say somebody calls me idiot - he is possibly saying so because he is frustrated and was expecting blah blah blah

and their is nothing wrong in being frustrated and expecting blah blah blah

and since its got nothing to do with me per se ... there is no question of me being offended.

and hence no reason to feel & react any which way

Here is one of my HIAKU on this concept

I threw rock in the pond

the ripples just smiled back

the rock vanished

Ratnesh Mathur
---------------------------------------------------------
There is genie inside every child
come lets discover the magic
---------------------------------------------------------
Website: www.geniekids.com

should I do BEd then Med and then Phd

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Wed, 02 May 2007 16:04:00 +0000

I have never held formal degrees like Bed & Med much in regard.

I find practical work & self exploration to be much deeper and more comprehensive and greatly developing pathways

For example - to me writing a book is biggest degree and a huge learning - a complete Phd in itself.

Hence I will question you - why do you want to do Bed & Med & Phd - towards what end?

Why not spend the same time, effort and resources in

impacting children, parents, teachers and yourself in a much bigger way!!!

thinka bout this

Writing a book is just an example.

one can do anything - which does this IMPACT bit!

somehow I question this cultural bend of our society towards degrees which serve no purpose.

I believe in "Industry" (meaning effort geared towards a result) not mere academics!

that makes me learn more!

mere academics is a waste of time & resource - even in terms of self development

I've no degree in any field of education, yet I think I am impacting children, parents & teachers more - than - many who have tomes of degrees tucked with laminated covers in their cupboards

So please justify why you want to do all this Bed & Med & Phd

Our life is the sum total of our day to day activities.

If your day is full of activities which give scope for you to grow - then you are on lifelong learning journey - rest all is theory which I do not call learning

Also - according to me - I am only growing - in the real sense - if I am making others around me GROW

to that extent I find academics to be a very selfish pursuit.

however the moment I start sharing them with others - in some way helping them grow - it ceases to be academics - but becomes joyous life!

ratnesh

---------------------------------------------------------
There is genie inside every child
come lets discover the magic
www.geniekids.com

are 3 yrs olds capable of deciding

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Wed, 02 May 2007 16:01:00 +0000

Pratiksha wrote:

Ratnesh, what does ur experience say....are kids as small as 3 yrs capable of deciding for themselves??
i have tried it in simple day to day things....like ask him if he would like to have chapati or rice and he tells his choice.
but when it comes to 2 unpleasant choices ,he will just run away n completely ignore me!
but i read it somewhere that u should keep the options ready for them n let them decide and grdually then work out the options as well with them .
what do u have to say on this??

My response:

Pratiksha
Its not about ARE kids as small as 3yrs capable of deciding -
Its all about what you want them to BECOME capable of .....

many parents make their kids capable of following them;
i would like to make every kid capable of leading me!

kids has this amazing ability to rise to your expectations.

so, enjoy raising the bar:-)
Isn't that what teaching is all about?

ratnesh

www.geniekids.com

Most inspiring sight

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 05:46:00 +0000

To me personally the most inspiring sight is when a parent instead of just pushing the child into
learning something, the parent joins the child and starts learning herself or himself. Nothing is
more inspiring. I have come across two such amazingly inspiring families in the last few weeks and
though of sharing.

First Umesh & Shipra - very sweet and close friends of ours. Last three saturdays i have been going
to their house in the morning and then coming to geniekids from their house. As soon i entered
their house, on each of these three satyurdays - both of them were learning - one to play bongo and
other to play keyboard - nobody was pushing their five year old to learn - they were just
themselves enjoying ( & struggling with :-)) the learning process. On all these three saturdays's
having seen such an inspiring sight early in the morning i went to genie kids feeling few feets
above the ground.

Second:
The inspiration reaches its hights, when not only the parent-child learn together - but actually
share the stage, perform together!! Anjana (current TTT batch) & Shruthi did that at Bharatiya
Vidya Bhavan on saturday and this will stay in my mind for many many years. read her email below -
which completes the whole picture for you.

So the next time you want a life time of inspiration and fun, don't just put your child into the
class, join in too!

love
ratnesh

----- Original Message -----
From: Anjana Gupta
To: "ratnesh"
Sent: Mon, 12 Feb 2007 06:48:05 +0530
Subject: My Dance Journey....To Reflection...To Realize SELF BELIEF.

Hello Ratnesh

To Share : Learning Kathak was the turning point in my life (what I was to
what I am)
To let you know : How your articles helped me reflect on SELF BELIEF I have.

This sharing maybe too long, but will keep it as short as possible.

Before joining Kathak I did not know who am I....where am I heading....

My daughter Shruthi, six and a half years old joined Kathak at BVB. As I
used to wait outside for her to finish her class, one fine day I asked
myself why waste time.... and with my husbands (Sunil) consent went ahead to
join (three months later after Shruthi had joined), without much realizing
what I am up to and what I want to do????

Now after joining too, lots of questions used to rip me apart. Am I ok in a
class where only youngsters, youth with energy and vigour, pretty young
girls, am I fat etc.. Where do I stand?? Somehow some power inside me pushed
me further.

Every year, as a part of the course, students are supposed to take up a
theory and a practical exam, which was still fine by me, but the real danger
came upon when I needed to perform, again as a part of learning.

I requested didi and opted out of performing, (also because I was not able
to convince my in laws about their ghar ki bahu learning a devotional dance)
to which she agreed too, though not whole hearted. I was asked to help
backstage which again was so much learning about the lights, the acoustics,
their costumes, make up and so many other things.

But in the second year,, Shruthi turned upon me to ask mama why are you not
performing on stage? I did not want to admit my fear and inability to her.
So with great difficulty did go ahead and I felt I only made a fool of
myself by not participating the first year. My own fears used to grip me,
but found a way out by doing a lot of self talk.

And NO LOOKING BACK after that. Shruthi and me, thoroughly started enjoying
practice sessions together( a sense of achievement developed as we practiced
each tukda, footwork etc) competing with each other and so on. Meantime it
dawned, that while I used to help Shruthi, it was a great learning to me in
many ways and somewhere had desired that I should work towards teaching
children....as it was tremendous learning for me.

Kathak also brought in lot of values to me. The preparation for theory exam
each year was very exciting... and I got drawn into it and wanted to know
more and more about history of Kathak. It was not from the examination view
point, confined to some syllabus, I went ahead to know more and more..( and
in spite of this I feel I know nothing).and finally to top my exams for two
years...(Was this the self belief I had that pushed me???) ..and this
convinced me about me being a capable person.

And in this process I also realized that from children's viewpoint it helped
Shruthi to instill commitment, discipline, devotion, responsibility,
concentration, memory power, body movements and so many other good things. I
convinced my son Karan too to join Tabla and their journey still goes on....

Again, after I finished my course this year, didi offered me to teach
temporarily the beginners at their (BVB) Gandhinagar branch, to which I
initially refused, as my inner self again in damadol, how will I manage a
class, how will I teach etc etc. What pushed me here--my self
belief??--(plus definitely Sunils push to establish an identity for myself
other than being a housewife, mother, daughter in law etc.). After accepting
the offer, I did teach there, and it was a great advantage to my personal
self; that in fact it was very huge learning for me and I thoroughly
enjoyed.

To conclude, I came across your articles on CONFIDENCE and realized that yes
it is, the Self belief in me that has brought me here today and my journey
does not end....I feel there is a lot of growth happening inside me and..and
developing the ability to express myself better...

I also want to mention Geniekids TTT sessions have been really good for
me,at the right time, in the sense, the beliefs session,(many times I find
it difficult to break beliefs) the emotional make up, the positive
intentions class, the habits of mind, Khalil Gibrans poem, has opened up new
vistas for self exploration and I feel that yes there is something inside
me...that is bringing out the beauty inside me and forcing me to become
aware, to rethink a lot of things and to transform...Thanks to the Transform
the trainer (TTT) program.

Transforming and a wealthier
Anjana Gupta

What is facilitation?

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Wed, 03 Jan 2007 11:50:00 +0000

To facilitate, is to help something (usually a process) move along. The word derives from "facile" which is French for "easy". To facilitate, then, is literally to make something easier. Through facilitation, the instructor provides subtle "boosts" to help participants through a series of experiences which combine to create a desired effect.

Facilitate does not mean "solving a problem" or "doing it for someone". It means doing something that makes a process run a little better. When a situation is too difficult, a facilitator is there to help. When a student or a group are having desirable experiences, the facilitator can be less obtrusive. In general, the goals of facilitation often include participants analyzing and better understanding their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Four quadrants of facilitation: 2 x 2 (Intentional-Unintentional x Overt-Covert)
Facilitation is everything that an instructor does, thus it includes intentional, unintentional, subtle and obvious behaviors. Four types of facilitative behaviors can be identified, as follows:

Intentional - Overt
These are things an instructor does intentionally and these are noticed by students.
Examples
1. A facilitator shows students how to make a fire.
2.. A facilitator uses Socratic questioning, such as when asking a question of a group during a debrief.
3. An instructor counsels or gives verbal feedback to a participant.

Intentional - Covert
These are things an instructor does intentionally but they are not noticed by students.

Example
1. As a group are sitting down to have a discussion, the facilitator intentionally places him her self next to a student who he/she wants to begin the discussion. The instructor then casually indicates to go around in the direction of the person next to whom he/she has sat.

Unintentional - Overt
These are things an instructor does without intending and they are noticed by the students.
Examples
1. An instructor is naturally warm-hearted (without realizing) and this quickly makes students feel accepted and excited about the program.
2. An instructor unintentionally uses gendered language which upsets several participants.

Unintentional - Covert
These are things an instructor does without intending and they go unnoticed by the students. But it does affect individual's experiences and has subtle socio-psychological impacts.
Examples
1. As a group are sitting down to have a discussion, the facilitator unintentionally sits either too far apart from the group (e.g., is ego-centric) or unintentionally too far into the group circle (e.g., is anxious, shy). The group don't consciously notice but it effects the way participants respond to the instructor.
2. An instructor uses gendered language and this goes unnoticed by the group but it contributes to underlying gender issues and tensions within a group.

Given this framework - here is what i will do:

For all the intentional inputs i will
Prepare, Prepare, Prepare, Prepare
* First prepare how will i do the activities (in detail)
** Two prepare the kind of process questions i will ask (write down the questions)
*** Three Prepare my thoughts about each child - what does this child need - how to give - through overt or covert means? etc
**** Four prepare myself to observe (build observation-breaks into my activities - ensure that my activities are so desigend that they give me time and mental spoace to actually observe the childrena dn the process iun general - and this is important specially i need to know how my facilitation is doing - both intentional and unintentional

For all the unintentional inputs i will
Prepare, Prepare, Prepare, Prepare
* First Prepare to be conscious of the subtle feedback children give (one way is to ask each child and then take it with open mind)
** Prepare my state of mind - becasue that will colour a lot of my unintentional behaviour and inputs - specifically ensure that my state of mind is not effective by outside calssroom events like issues/ events at home, or geniekids or any other issues with self
*** Prepare my mind to be conscious of my beleifs and perceptions - specailly about the subject/ topic/ activity and about each children or children in general. Again a lot of my unintentional beahviour is determined by my beleifs and being conscious of these beleifs helps in changing the ones that amy be ineffective
**** Finally and very beautifully, prepare my children to GIVE ME FEEDBACK - to tell me when they ae not feeling alright about something. One simple way is to keep asking - "How are you feeling" (this often puts thing which were covert into overt - once child is aware of a feeling - child can trace to what is causing this feeling and then if child can articulate that - the facilitator can take that feedback.

aditi - ratnesh

Undoubtedly the Best Zodiac Forecast In the World

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 16:02:00 +0000

The best way to predict the future is to create it!-Jason Kaufmann

Million of us rise everyday, grab the paper and go straight for what the stars have in store for us - today. Wouldn’t you love to see everyday, the most successful forecast for you? One that not only has the maximum chance of coming out true, but which is also the most beneficial to you.

I will tell you who can write that kind of forecast - YOU.
Suppose you were to get up every day and write down what you want from today, what you should get out of today. It is amazingly simple - if you could write down what you want to get today - then chances are that you will.

Don’t look out for forecasts like - 'will meet a new friend today'. Write 'will make a friend today', and go ahead and make one.
Don’t look out for forecasts like - 'will get a raise today'. Write 'will ask for a raise today or do work such that they have to give me raise', and go ahead and get more.
Don’t look out for forecasts like - 'romance is in the air'. Write 'will give flowers to someone I love', and go ahead and win one.
Don’t just get warned by forecasts like - 'chances of accident or ill health. Write 'will drive carefully or do exercise or eat judiciously to maintain good health, and chances are that you will stay that way to enjoy today.

Would you buy something without knowing its use? Then why would we go and spend a day without knowing of what use it would be at the end? Write your forecast everyday, every week, and month - and get out of them what you really want to.

Don't let the stars tell you what is in store for you.
Go tell the stars what to give you out of today.

your comments

aditi-ratnesh

Just a quote

noreply@blogger.com (Geniekids) — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 16:02:00 +0000

It takes two to tango!
Ha! Ha! whatever that means!
ratnesh