My Self-esteem is based on MY thoughts...- What I think, what I think I want and what I think others think

 

Building the childs self esteem - if we cld treat the child as equal and give her as much respect as you want others to give would that not help??

 

Mina

 

Aug 28 Circle Time Review

Circle Time

I think our TTT classes to date have been circle time
sessions; we follow its structure and rules: We sit
in a circle, including the facilitator. The
atmosphere is safe so anyone can express their
thoughts without fear of being judged or put down.
However, there is no pressure on anyone to speak if
they don’t want to. We naturally take turns
talking.

Aditi had said that circle time is a long term
investment. Looking back at our group when we first
began the session and today, I feel we have become
closer to each other because of this format.
Comparing what we do in TTT vs. a classroom where the
teacher lectures and the students face the teacher and
mostly listen and take notes â€" circle time is so
much better. I feel that if classes in elementary and
middle schools were held in this manner, we’d have
less bullying and other misbehaviors.

We’ve had some icebreakers in our sessions â€" I
remember in the very first class when Vanita and I
were exchanging impressions and information about each
other. Another icebreaker -- giving fishes to each
other… Wow!

Stimulation â€" could be the activity of the magical
floating pipe which we somehow had to bring it down to
the floor, working together as a team? I can’t
think of other stimulations we have done, but I’m
sure there were more..

A thought â€" family meals (when we are all together)
could also be considered circle time…

Yoga

That was the coolest yoga session I’ve ever had. It
was so much fun - I went home and redid it with the
kids. They also loved it!

Sujata

Re: what helps me in learning more ?

hi kirti,

u r not the only one. most of us r sailing in the same boat, the only diff is of the rows in which v r sitting.

u know something in the beginning sessions i accepted everything as told by the facilitators, those were very boring sessions. when i tried at home, things didn't work atall. whenever i thought i have found the ans my son did something exactly opposite. that made me think what am i doing. when it is not easy to handle one child, what about handling a group?

 

pragya

kirti lodhe <amkirti@gmail.com> wrote:

well, doubting the statement given by ratnesh, has also brought in
some insights in me.




On 8/31/07, Minakshi Prabhu wrote:
> These days more than confused, I am finding myself at a loss - I understand
> feelings, emotions etc. but I just dont know how to react
>
> So I think there is a lot of doubt today on how to respond / react. I see
> / understand what my husband is going thru, my daughter is going thru' , my
> mother is going thru etc. etc. but I face so much doubt in HOW I respond to
> it.
>
> So my take is there is DOUBT, and as it transpired when I articulated my
> "I am feeling" statement, it is very clear that " I am not feeling"!!
>
> When Anu brings up an issue / sweetie / Pragnya throw up these straight
> "doubting" questions then it only leads to a better understanding in me
>
> Mina
>

session review on 30th august session

Was it on discipline ???
I came with an expectation that it would be about how to give choices,
and conequences ........
And I am so thankful that it wasnt about it. It was about something
which is much much more important and basic.

I hmyself have gone through discpliining techniques, but I wasnt able
to use them effectively because, the problem was somewhere else. I
myself wasnt relaxed, in negative state of mind, and hence everything
would fail. Beause nothing was realy applied.

Now u havent given me the steps actually, but I am realxed. I am
trying out diff things. Now I am remembering that I read in those
articles, and now I am trying to apply them.
Now I can see my daughter and myself in feeling good state.

It is so imporetant that in everything this "=" thing is more
important. Acknowledging feeling, giving respect, acceptance, freedom,
choices, everything includes me as well as other person.

I have the choice to feel good and learn something or feel bad when
somebody says something to me. God, this is so wonderful. Something
happened today morning itseslf, and I felt bad,and was at to react
but i held myself back and since then I am thinking abt it, what other
choice do I have, can I learn something from this. Can I get
something out of it. How am I feeling.

In all this, I am not hurt, I am understanding the person better. Yes
its a choice, but it takes lot of awareness. At that moment, i may not
be able to do it, need to ponder over it for some time.

kirti

self-esteem

I am still confused on what is self-esteem now.
Whenever I feel there is anything negative feeling abt myself, I can
always introspect, and learn from it , accept myself and still have a
choice to feel as I want to.

If I have a choice over all my feelings, then is self-esteem is my choice ?
Then how do I nurture it in kids, isnt it their choice ?

I am not able to put in exact words?? I woud always choose to feel
good abt myself in all the situations, if its just a choice to make.

When I feel upset, is it my choice alone. And if it is, I should never
be upset then?

kirti

Session Review on Circle-time and Yoga

CIRCLE TIME AND YOGA

 

I never knew that a concept like circle-time ever existed. Practicals have always been more fun than theories. Isn't it? I had a great great time in the session.  In my opinion it was one of the best sessions we have had so far. Friends, I am taking the liberty to compare!! J

 

 But I am still wondering will I be this natural and honest with a closer set of people (like my relatives, my friends etc)? Obviously in our batch 9ttt we all are sailing in the same boat and are pretty much in the same state of mind so its OK to discuss anything and everything under the sun without the tention of labelling.  

 Also, looking back at the set of activities that we did in Circle-time and Yoga, I am not able to place ICE BREAKERS. Was it a combination of activities?

 

My question still remains that Is dance also a form of meditation? Though I am not a trained dancer, during the meditation I am always doing a hardcore bharatnatyam in my mind. Why is that so?

 

waiting for ur thoughts,

Nupur

P.S. Never knew Yoga was that interesting!! :-)

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yesterday's session

hi all,

yesterday's session was about-----------------------

 

i am still not able to accept all the things discussed at geniekids as told by the facilitators.

 

with 80% of the kids the things told at geniekids might be true but what if some day you are with a group of children who are from the remaining 20%.

 

it is good not to put the blame on the child by saying "you irritate me" or "you hurt me" or -----------------

 

but when you are happy why shouldn't we make the child feel that "i am happy because of you". i understand about pressure but a coin has two sides.

 

just think about an incident when your child really felt for something but didn't do it coz "my mummy will be unhappy about this".

 

if it is alright to be angry then why isn't it right to make the child feel that "yes i am proud of you because you have done this" that doesn't mean that i am not proud of you always, yes this have increased my height by 1/10th if a mm.

 

won't if help in booming the self esteem of the child. we have to teach the child to take it in a +ve way and not as something to pressurize the child.

 

sayonara

pragya

 

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Listing down the assignments that we've had till date. You can use it as a ready reckoner to check your own progress

 

1. Essay about yourself

2. Goal assignment

3.  MI Assignment - Teaching a topic using each of the intelligences

4. Motivation assignment

5. 50 question on Values assignment

6.Mindmap on values

7. How will you teach this value to your child

8. Goals assignment

9. Objectives as a parent

10, Book Review

11. Guided Visualization

12. Constructing Support

13. Circle Time assignment

14. Creativity assignment from Mini

15. Football Coach assignment

 

If I've missed out anything please help me by adding to the list

 

Mina

 

The Yoga and Circle time excercises were really very nice, the entire session was experiential which was really nice

 

I had come in with some notion of circle time - In my college we used to have these feedback sessions which could really get people over the edge. So I was quite skeptical. I also thought that we were going to do some session on asanas,,,,

 

I experienced it as a powerful too.  Three rules - one at a time, no put downs and can pass on

 

The process has foll stages -

 

- Getting people aware of the circle

- Ice breakers to get them into the circle

- Discussion on the topic

- Closure

 

On Yoga too, I fel that this was such a novel way of doing Yoga. If children were taught this way and also maybe with new stories ever so often, how wonderful it would be. This stimulates so many of the intelligences - Kinesthetic, intrapersonal, Interpersonal, Linguistic, Naturalist too ( becuase of the storyline) is what I could count

 

No experiences yet

 

Mina

 

 

 

I just knew that circle time, we all sit together and do acitivites together.

My idea was it would be more of sharing, respecting the fellow participants.

 

and all i thought was true but it has lot more to it.

 

the circle time is for getting everyone together, listen to each other, connect with self and others.

It helps in listening to everyone, without judging them. It relaxes you, it makes u comfortable,

it helps u respectr everyone's thoughts and feelings.

It also helps in regulating self.

 

The three rules in circle time, found them very useful for me to be relaxed.

Initially though I was very conscious while tearing the paper, but eventually I was comfortable and on my own once the exercise was over.

 

I liked the rule of not putting down anybody, I could open myself more.

One idea sparking many other ideas, was really very true. Every idea was making me think more on what was being said.

 

The circle time was disciplined but still it was fun.  We had freedom as well as some restrictions.

Restrictions made our discussion oprganised as only one person can talk at a time.

It also gave us freedom to express ourselves freely because of the rule that nobody would be judging.

We were very much connected with each other but still were connected to ourselves. We were talking only abt self which was also making my understanding abt other also clear.

It helped me listening to others.

 

And it made more concentrate when I was trying to feel , taste , see and hear what other person was saying. It made sure that I am all there.

 

I feel it can be very useful in case of conflicts as well as when u start some new activity.

It can also help in brainstorming sessions. Ideas would be flowing in all the directions.

 

I wish I can design it in such a way that it can be used in smaller group too effectively

 

I feel the talking object can be used with any no of people, to solve problems. It made me clear on how to listen to others.

 

as of now everything looks like would work very fine but actual experience of it with some other group would make it clear. I feel its important that I try to implement this on non TTT members and see how it works.

 

Yoga :

My understanding was in Yoga the most important thing was pranayam. Thats the first thing that u should be doing. I never knew meditation has so much depth. To me 10 mins of meditation was enough.

 

But there is lot to learn, the body mind connection.

Though I m not very clear on how they are connected, how our postures get improved automatically, but want to learn more n more abt it. Yoga has come as flash to me.

 

My understanding abt yoga has not deepen but it has made me curious to know it.

 

And it was amazing to see how yoga asanas or postures and breathing techniques can be doe by children that too in an interesting way.

 

Now I want to explore yoga more deeper.

 

kirti

Yesterdays session was one of the best sessions we've had. I could see so many concepts flowing into that one session...

 

The session was on Respect and I think we've not explored it enough. We did a Mindmap on respect and what I got out of it was...

 

Respect = Discipline

Respect to me means respecting - feelings, choices, values, freedom of both self and others.

As I sit and ponder about it I feel that respect also includes respecting nature, respecting things, earth etc.etc.

To me each of these will also bring in awareness and hence discipline in me....

 

Today I did try just stating that I am upset. And it got everyone else even more worked up. The KEY I think is between knowing and accepting.... I know I am upset vs I accept the fact that I am upset.

 

We also had an interesting discussion on the value of rewards.

 

I found that this session linked back into -

- how to appreciate

- Habits of Mind

- Even Blooms taxonomy ( because that is where the shift has to happen for me - between knowing and applying wholeheartedly and thus synthesis)

- also the shift from unconscious incomptenece to unconsiouc competence

- And raising self-esteem

 

Listening ecercise - yet to do

 

Take care

Mina

 

50 Questions on planning

Hi,

Attached please find with ref to above subject

Regards,

Kavita.B.R

 
 

Not sure why the mesg is titled react vs respond... ( my reaction)

 

However I can see this link beautifully inro HOM (and thats my response)

 

Rgds

Mina

 

Not sure why the mesg is titled react vs respond... ( my reaction)

 

However I can see this link beautifully inro HOM (and thats my response)

 

Rgds

Mina

 

Not sure why the mesg is titled react vs respond... ( my reaction)

 

However I can see this link beautifully inro HOM (and thats my response)

 

Rgds

Mina

 

React Vs respond

Dear all

 

Please see the enclosure

 

Ramki, Zonal Director

Brainobrain Karnataka

11, 21st Main, 5th cross,

JP Nagar II Phase

Bangalore - 560 011

Ph: 2649 3756 M: 98452 83564

Life is not what happens to us or what we get;

It is what we make or create with all the potentials we have.

 

 

Aug 23rd Session Review on Discipline

I've been thinking a lot about this session...

1. "disciplining" equals "punishing":

The desire to punish comes when you take things
personally. I take things personally when my feelings
get hurt. My feelings get hurt when i believe that
the act was committed without regard for my feelings.
So then i wonder/realize:

a. How selfish i am when i get angry at my child for
misbehaving, because i'm putting myself as the center
of his world. I'm blocking out his other motivations
and focusing on me.

b. When i set out to punish (and vent my
frustration), the heretofore positive objective of
teaching him something of value is replaced with the
goal of teaching him how not to hurt me.

c. How can anything positive come out of a desire to
hurt?

d. Parents resort to punishment because it is seen as
a tool for shaping behavior in a child. But as we
learned in one of the earlier 9ttt classes, you can
only change someone's behavior by changing that
person's beliefs. How does punishing someone change
that person's beliefs which caused the (wrongful)
behavior?

e. I hadn't realized that offering rewards for doing
a task, and which you hold back if the task is not
done, is also punishment. I saw it as incentivizing
my kids. I thought this was a much better strategy
than simply withholding a privilege for not doing
something. Why is this considered a punishment --
after all, there is no anger/vengefulness/frustration
involved? Yes, the child does get hurt when the
reward is withheld, but the child was in control of
the situation. Perhaps it is punishment because not
getting the reward would leave him feeling resentful?
Have to think more..

f. How proudly i claimed in class that we don't
punish our kids at home...but i do get angry at them,
and surely i radiate hostility during such times. (i
really believe that there's no hiding from your own
children, can fool yourself but can't fool them one
bit, they can smell you) So isn't that punishment?
Better to inform them i'm angry and walk away, than to
cover up and behave artificially.

g. Disciplining is not limited to children..so at
times when i act out of anger, aren't i punishing my
spouse, family, friends?

2. Disciplining without punishment

Is this possible? Am i getting caught up in semantics
-- after all, the term "disciplining" seems to be
politically incorrect?

what do you call it when you guide your child towards
positive behaviors? I always thought this part of
disciplining.

3. Parenting with a light touch

This session ratcheted up my awareness that parenting
is best when done with a light touch. of course,
something similar has been said previously, Kahlil
Gibran's poem says the same beautifully, but somehow i
lose sight of this in day to day practice. I'm quick
to give solutions (still, but becoming more aware), i
get angry/resentful with the kids frequently, etc.
etc.

Actually, it boils down to living life with a light
touch or living light-heartedly. Parenting is just
one aspect.

Sujata

Session Review

Hi,
    Though I had attended the same session with 8ttt, experience with this group was a new one.
The first step to do when you are confronted with a challenging situation is RELAX. I realise the importance of this though I donno how far I'll be able to tell myself to do so.
This proverb makes some sense with slight modification here 'If you can't change the situation, join them and have fun'
I think if you put the child in the same level as yourself, u'll never hit/shout the child.
Imporatance of non-verbal/leaving a note here and there will do the job more effectively.
Throwing tantrums Vs  Anger makes me think about situations where I got confused b/w both of them.
I am also thinking of situations where discipline becomes important, not necessarily for kids but adults too. Following Qs arise in my mind
1) A look at our MPs and MLAs reinforces the importance of discipline.
2) What about collages and institutions? Isn't it important there?
3) Why is discipline stressed so much in army, navy and airforce? What'll happen if discipline is absent in these places?
4) Isn't discipline a set of rules 2 parties agree to abide?
5) What is SELF DISCIPLINE?

Regarding Punishment
1) Is it enough to face consequences than let someone be punished?
2) In a group if someone is causing a problem to others then is some sort of step to be taken? Ex 'getting out of the class' or sitting alone. Will it be viewed as punishment?
3) If rewarding for a good job is fine then not rewarding for an 'okay' job punishment especially for an expectant child?

Keep thinking,
Shubha

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Good luck Pragya.

 

Today we were making bfast (it was past 10:30 and I was really hungry having got up at 7:00) and I was gen feeling "hungrrrrrrry".

 

My daughter was doing this that and other and i was getting upset. She found a cover and started standing on it making this crushing sound. My husband was also irritated with her. Suddenly, what struck me was that it was an oppurtunity. I took another cover and joined her. We stood on it and started twisting and dancing - great fun it was......

 

I think again and agin that it is the frame of mind that I ( parents) bring in which makes the difference.

 

Take care

Mina

RE: spilling of milk reply

thanks kirti, ramki and ofcourse ratnesh and others.

today i can say that i have changed one of my old beliefs and am mentally prepared to experiment.

i might create the scene just to see what happens. i feel if we are allowed to create something funny, the chances of repetition of the same mistakes reduces slowly and slowly. even we get boared on seeing the same comedy film again and again.

i will need lot of patience and will power in future. i have kept next 3 days as my observation period.

 

sayonara

pragya

ramki <ramki@brainobrain.com> wrote:

Hi Pragya

 

Doubt. mmmm. It is good state to explore. Better would be to experience? 

 

My views:

The incident (Spilling the milk) is an accident and is not voluntary. Whether it is done by a child or an adult. It is neither wrong or right. It cannot be reversed. May not get another chance to have a FUN of the incident. So, why not have a fun?

 

Can always learn to be careful next time anyway, instead of regretting what happened.

 

I had experienced once. What a FUN it is!. May not get next chance in life time.

 

With lov

 

Ramki

 

-----Original Message-----
From: Pragya Tak [mailto:pragyatak2007@yahoo.co.in]
Sent: Friday, August 24, 2007 3:18 PM
To: amkirti@gmail.com; suma s; 9ttt@geniekids.com; geniekids1.9ttt@blogger.com
Subject: spilling of milk reply

kirti

i still have doubts regarding this.

will a child understand that spilling of milk is wrong when he/she know how much fun they can have from it?

will the feeling of pleasure and fun the child will have, not overpower the understanding?

how  can we empower the child ?

 

pragya

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change in my son

hi all,

till date i was in a delima of what am i doing?

sometimes my son used to listen and most of the times he would not. it made me think was i on the right track? was i putting all my efforts? and all sorts of negative thoughts started coming into my mind.

something happened today morning which i want to share with you all

i called my son for breakfast. he said he has a stomach ache. i asked him "what do you want me to do" he said "i want eno" i gave him eno, and after he finished i told him "how is your stomach ache now" he said "gone" so i told him "that's good, now finish your breakfast" and he actually sat and finished it in 10 minutes.

my mother smiled at me and that smile told me that i was on the right track.

 

hat's off to you ratnesh. now i know that i am transforming into a better person coz i can see changes (very little) in my son's behaviour.

 

pragya

 

 

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spilling of milk reply

kirti

i still have doubts regarding this.

will a child understand that spilling of milk is wrong when he/she know how much fun they can have from it?

will the feeling of pleasure and fun the child will have, not overpower the understanding?

how  can we empower the child ?

 

pragya

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Re: My reflections on todays session - 23rd August and others..

I liked this . Free the child from myself. I am also thinking on the
same lines.

On 8/23/07, Minakshi Prabhu <mina_prabhu@yahoo.com> wrote:
> I quite liked Bhavana'scomment at the end of the session - why do we need a
> session on discipline and related to it - what is discipline.
>
> I am still reflecting on it - is it corporal punishment, it is shouting,
> is it a show of anger - what is it...
>
> Anus confessions touched me - it also helped me to open up about the
> topic. Till about two weeks ago, I used to raise my hand sometimes and my
> voice often. Now I am very conscious and aware of when I get angry. I move
> away after telling her that I am getting angry ( so its my feeling...)
>
> Todays session made me turn the question upside down and say what is
> punishment - is it just raising my hands or shouting or is it more.....
>
> Bhavana made a comment - We've all read this saying CHILD IS GOD, then why
> dont we show the same respect to the child.....
>
> There is one change that I am conciosly making - that is to "free" my
> child from me, I will be there when she needs me but let me not impose
> myself on her ( I realsie that not having a child for so many years of our
> marriage has made me run my whole life around her, I am working on changing
> that). At times I feel lost if she is spending time with someone else...
>
> Mina
>
>

Re: spilling of milk

this is what I feel,

playing with spilled milk gives message that, its ok things happen.
Instead of worrying abt it, lets enjoy it. But yes, once the kid is
out of that fear of getting scold after spilling milk, it can be
discussed o r use open ended questions so that kid knows that he is
expected to be careful.

Playing with spilled milk , brings down my tension levels too. Then we
both are more open to think of how he can be more careful next time.

On 8/24/07, Pragya Tak <pragyatak2007@yahoo.co.in> wrote:
> hi all,
> i have a doubt regarding the spilling of milk that we discussed yesterday.
> the next time my child spills milk and i play in it. won't it give a
> message that whenever you want to splash in milk, spill it (ofcourse by
> mistake) . it can develop into a hom also. so what next? how to handle
> this? ----------------
>
> sayonara
> pragya
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> DELETE button is history. Unlimited mail storage is just a click away.

spilling of milk

hi all,

i have a doubt regarding the spilling of milk that we discussed yesterday.

the next time my child spills milk and i play in it. won't it give a message that whenever you want to splash in milk, spill it (ofcourse by mistake) . it can develop into a hom also. so what next?  how to handle this? ----------------

 

sayonara

pragya

 

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about today session on discipline

hi all

first of all Bhawna it's nice to know you. what you have asked is like you have given words to what i think or rather want to say. but something just pulls me back.

 

i kept thinking and is still sthinking------------------------------

 

1  if i come at 11 o clock on tuesday and tell aditi that i was stuck in a traffic jam so request her to start the yoga session from the begining. how will she react?

if the schools are not strict in closing the doors will the kids come on time?

can we let the children decide what they want to wear to the school (not the uniform) ?

my son is still in class 1. so if he decides (that is what he has being doing fro the last 3 weeks) that he doesn't want to study, it doesn't matter much. But what if a class 10 student says this? can we let the child decide then?

 

a child (from a well to do family)  has a habbit of picking things from others bags just like that. the teacher and the parents and others also have tried many things but all their efforts were in vain. this child has being doing this for last many years and has changed 3-5 schools. how to help the child? the child's intentions are good (fun and pleasure). then also the actions cannot be justified.

 

my daughter got up

bye

 

 

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todays reviews for 23.08.07

hi everyone,

today's session was a precious learning for me.

1. parent child control from superior or powerful poit of view is little difficult and it sometimes fails also.

2.but when we RESPECT  THE CHILD  the magic light spreads all around.and itseems to work like an everready battery or a duracell

3.who dislikes being complimented for a child's behaviour and who dosent feel bad for a child's complaint?

can you still remain at peace of mind after a complaint? 

decepline for our house can be a CHALEGA  TYPE OR SAB CHALTA HAI..

BUT our society will not accept it..

For celebrites it becomes fashion or style but for a layman it does not work.

you cant go with a colourful shirt and a short pant and slippers  for a corporate interview.

you should even maintain punctuality.

you should have decent speech ,tone and even language.

so decepline at some extent is necessary and important to me .otherwise we will be laid behind .

       After the session i felt that i should set an example of good behaviour to my child .

it is also possible that she will see others not so good type of behaviour also and may be she may learn that also  .and she should decide which is healthy for her.

4.we should also use the word SORRY for them when we feel we are wrong or hurt her. as we do for our elders.   then why not to our own children.

5.even one word from our side is pretty enough for them.

6.best key for expressing our feelings is to speak out rather than sit alone with a balloonlike face. no one likes it at all and by doing so, unintensionally we are hurting so many else.so speaking about our feelings will always be  a type of short cut to a major MAHABHARAT.

7.I will love to seek HELP from my children

 

comments and appreciations are always welcomed.

even god loves praises ..... phir mein to insaan hoon...

happy sweety...

 

 

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todays solution 23.08.07

hi all,

todays session was very very helpful to me because when i came in the morning many of us noticed that i was not in as good mood as i always am. i was feeling very much lodaded with frustration and anger and what not. that i really blasted like a balloon when i was asked a very simple question by ratnesh. since last week i was putting all my  or may be 4-5 efforts of mine to be in peace but i was loosing my temper, felt helpkess and so became rather hopeless....

then when ratnesh led me to the reality show  i was  actually floored. it was really an eyeopener to me.before that i thought that still something is missing in me BUT now i know that i was not fully open  or rather the nozzel was little small for me to come out.now i am trying to offer choices to my daughter and it worked in the evening at same store  but for different thing.today none of us was chasing and we both came happily today.

---

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I quite liked Bhavana'scomment at the end of the session - why do we need a session on discipline and related to it - what is discipline.

 

I am still reflecting on it - is it corporal punishment, it is shouting, is it a show of anger - what is it...

 

Anus confessions touched me - it also helped me to open up about the topic. Till about two weeks ago, I used to raise my hand sometimes and my voice often. Now I am very conscious and aware of when I get angry. I move away after telling her that I am getting angry ( so its my feeling...)

 

Todays session made me turn the question upside down and say what is punishment - is it just raising my hands or shouting or is it more.....

 

Bhavana made a comment - We've all read this saying CHILD IS GOD, then why dont we show the same respect to the child.....

 

There is one change that I am conciosly making - that is to "free" my child from me, I will be there when she needs me but let me not impose myself on her ( I realsie that not having a child for so many years of our marriage has made me run my whole life around her, I am working on changing that). At times I feel lost if she is spending time with someone else...

 

Mina

 

Session Review on Habits of Mind (Aug 21, 2007)

 

The team work we all showed in bringing down the stick was awesome. But what brought it down? The minute we all had a common goal and a strategy and each one of us was putting an individual effort, the stick came down in no time.

 

A very powerful thought: What's the use of having an experience if we don't take the time to reflect upon it, learn from it, and figure out what happened, what worked and what didn't or even how I would approach if I face the same situation next time?

But how can I reflect upon certain experience? May be by first thinking about the situation, how I felt at that time, how I am feeling now when I am thinking about it and what I learnt from it. May be I can try out this strategy to think about my past, some pleasant one and some not so and try to reflect on what I want to learn from those.

 

Debate and my listening skills… How good I am in listening others point of view? How important is to prove my point of view when I won't be gaining anything from it?    How can I improve my listening skills?

Unless I take out my shoes and then put myself in other person shoes, I won't be able to listen with an open mind, understand and take in what he has to offer. Every time I listen, why not say to myself that this person has something very important to offer, which I won't find anywhere else. It is so much easy to swing to any side when my point of view is some what on the line. But I have yet to explore and test how easy it would be to listen to some body with an empty cup when I am totally opposed to what other person is saying.

 

So much to learn, experiment, practice and make it my habit of mind….

 

Anu

Aug 20 & 21 Sessions

Both the creativity and the HOM sessions, and Tagore's
essay on creativity, were amazing, and
thought-provoking.

As a parent, i thought it was part of my job to
inculcate values into my children -- not i see i was
wrong.

This also goes back to earlier sessions in which we
discussed not giving solutions, leave a child
wondering..why is it taking so long for these simple
lessons to sink in?

It also strikes me how disrespectful i'm being when i
don't listen.

Truly, i'm feeling overwhelmed.

T T T
Chai peeyo ji
With salt swirled in.

Sujata

Re: a Q on Sujatha\\\'s mail on Indep

Shubha, i think it comes down to the term
"responsible".

I believe you and i are on the same page when saying
that independence also encompasses choosing not to
act.

But when i choose to perform an act, and then not
follow through because of inertia/laziness, then how
am i exercising my freedom?

It's like not voting as a protest because you don't
like any of the candidates. In this case, you are a
responsible citizen although you didn't vote, and
there wouldn't be any internal disturbance for the
inaction.

However, if i feel strongly about a particular
candidate, and then choose to not make the effort to
vote because of a minor inconvenience, then i have
acted irresponsibly, even though i've exercised the
freedom to not step out of the house (at the cost of
the freedom to vote). This scenario would leave me
feeling guilty and not happy with myself.

I do think there is room for laziness in life of
course, but if it is at a significant cost to your
internal harmony or to others, then i should think
seriously about being lazy.

Sujata

--- Shubha Srinivasan <shubhsri@rediffmail.com> wrote:

>
> Hi,&nbsp; Sujatha\'s, mail on independence was good
> and thought provoking. If freedom of acting is
> independence then is freedom of not acting/choosing
> not to act also not independence? Then how does
> laziness figure in? Laziness is a wish not to act at
> one\'s own will, isn\'t that freedom too?Shubha
>
>

Fwd: August 16 Session Thoughts

--- Sujata Aji <sujata_aji@yahoo.com> wrote:

> Date: Sun, 19 Aug 2007 20:07:54 -0700 (PDT)
> From: Sujata Aji <sujata_aji@yahoo.com>
> Subject: August 16 Session Thoughts
> To: 9ttt@geniekids.com
>
> Before this session, i always believed that i was
> quite open-minded. The "love marriage" and "beauty
> pageant" exercises made me realize this was yet
> another illusion i have about myself.
>
> Throughout the exercises, i was oppressed with the
> need to outline my point of views, and make everyone
> understand the bases for my positions before i could
> open myself up and listen to other perspectives that
> threaten my beliefs. My feelings were mostly
> frustration and exasperation. Very interesting.
>
> And to think i didn't even feel strongly about
> either
> issue. Looking back, i can only imagine how i must
> have come across on issues that i am actually
> passionate about.
>
> Very disturbing indeed.
>
> Have to think more about letting go, cutting bonds,
> ..
>
> How many learnings have passed me by..
>
> How many more illusions about myself i will
> discover...
>
> It's SO IMPORTANT to be self-aware from moment to
> moment.
>
> Strategy: Recognize emotions such as frustration,
> anger, disdain (emotions that feel self-protective,
> defensive) as signals to myself for self-analysis to
> kick in; pause and think and analyse; then act.
>
> sujata
>

Fwd: Re: What is Independence?

--- Sujata Aji <sujata_aji@yahoo.com> wrote:

> Date: Sun, 19 Aug 2007 10:39:16 -0700 (PDT)
> From: Sujata Aji <sujata_aji@yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: What is Independence?
> To: 9ttt@geniekids.com
>
> When i think of independence, i think in terms of
> freedoms.
>
> My first answer was that independence is freedom to
> act (responsibly) in accordance with my inner
> motivations.
>
> Then i thought (apart from "wow, what a shallow
> answer"), what's stopping me from doing so? I came
> up
> with the following:
>
> -- fear (of repercussions, of hurting someone,
> etc.)
>
> -- beliefs (i am incapable; etc.)
>
> -- laziness/inertia
>
> So independence to me is freedom from fear, beliefs
> and inertia.
>
> Sujata
>
>
>
> --- Pragya Tak <pragyatak2007@yahoo.co.in> wrote:
>
> > Hi everyone,
> > Happy Independence Day to you all.
> > Pranav (my son) asked me "What is Independence"
> ?
> > While explaining him, I found out that though I
> > know the theoritical part I have doubts about its
> > meaning, the essence of Independence.
> >
> > Is rash driving Independence?
> > Is giving and taking bribres (everywhere from
> > temples to hospitals) Independence?
> > Is making our streets dirty Independence?
> > Is not paying the taxes Independence?
> > What the poloticians do is this Independence?
> > Is not bothering about anybody else
> Independence?
> > Or Independence is what everyone from realtors,
> > shopkeepers, doctors, accountants, sweeper, mall
> > owners, auto or bus drivers, etc are doing?
> > In last one year I have read or heard about
> > atleast 8 incedents of stray dogs biting kids.
> Both
> > CMC and animal activists are fighting about what
> > they can do, if allowed. But not doing anything.
> Is
> > this Independence?
> > The rich are becoming richer and poor, poorer.
> Is
> > this Independence?
> > Trees are being cut everywhere which has
> resulted
> > in GLOBAL WARMING. Is this Independence?
> > The male to female ratio is decreasing. Is this
> > Independence?
> > Some people don't have food to eat whereas some
> > spend lakhs for a sip of that old wine.
> > -----------------
> > -----------
> > --------
> > -----
> > I am sure anybody can write atleast 100
> questions
> > about it. but the basic question is still there
> > "What is Independence"
> >
> > I remember old people saying "The British Rule
> Was
> > Better Than This Independent India in many ways".
> >
> > Is this what we will give to our kids?
> > Where are we heading towards?
> >
> >
> > my daughter got up so
> > bye
> > pragya
> >
> >

Re: WHat is learning?

Understanding what learning is has also evolved for me
in the last few weeks.

Now I think that learning is anything which leads to
personal growth. It happens when i:

-- read something that triggers me in some way (to
think or question, or leads to "aha" moments)

-- really observe (which happens only when i am fully
present in the moment)

-- truly listen (which happens when i am not listening
to myself)

-- apply by doing (after overcoming inertia and feel
free from fear), making mistakes, shifting gears, and
re-doing

-- share experiences & knowledge

Sujata