Sex Edu Presentation

Sex education is not about information which many of us are concerned “how much to give”.
It is about our belief about "sex" and relationships - “do you think it is dirty or embarrassing?’.
So lets change the term itself from sex education to preparing (ourselves ) and children sexually. It has to begin with me (adult).

 
During one workshop one village teacher shared

Her son saw cow giving birth, he came and asked her if he also came like this?
Mother since she did not want to say lie or say fairy things to him - told him Yes.
Then she explained to him how birth is given. 
 
She said in the workshop  “I do not think anything is dirty or embarrassing”.

I congratulated her.
In the same workshop many of the “modern educators” were debating “its okay to say it is called pee pee, and when the child grows up child will know”.
So its not about what or how much the child knows - but how we respond to it - that will either make the child comfortable or uncomfortable with sex and everything related to it.

A common fear that if a child exhibits the knowledge of sex education among the people who will not appreciate, then what?

1. While you are talking about the body education, talk about the sensitivity aspect also. Example say “In our house we use the vocabulary; others may not be comfortable using the vocabulary. Like in our house we do not take shoes inside kitchen, but in some house they take – every house has its own culture."
2. Additionally - Its an opportunity for you talk about respecting all irrespective of their views and thinking – “Just because others do not approve the vocabulary we use it does not make them any way lower than us or vice versa”.
3. This may sound paradoxical - but it makes sense to be FRANK about your shyness (in discussing about sex). Say to your child, "I too am not comfortable talking about it. Also I am uncomfortable even hugging (or kissing) your father/ mother in front of you". Let us be genuine to our child.

Words like shit, bastard, fuck are commonly used by many – just because others use that word they are not bad – its just that they use different words to express.

If you do not approve of the vocabulary – talk about - examples -

• Shit means potty “did you want to say potty?”
• Shit is also used to express “oh no, etc”
• Every time your child says shit – ask the child “did you mean potty – I got confused”. Make it humorous rather than serious matter “shit is bad word, almost like if you use you will be also be bad”.
1. Keep it open “I do not like to use, but if you like to explore, I am ok with it. I prefer to use other words”.

Our suggestion – inform the child, share your views and still keep it open. Putting restriction means resistance (they may not use in front of parents but use it outside and not share with you :-(.

Also the  Child may give you restricted information - For parents “I do not use it”, in reality “I use it or I like to use it”. Sometimes it is also the social pressure “If I do not use I will be sissy”

The more – so for this aspect work on self esteem of the child rather than restrictions.
 
One mother was okay with her 18 year old to do everything but not have sex with her boy friend. The daughter shared (with her mother) all what happened between her and her boy friend except the sexual intercourse. That part she did not share as mother had told her not to do it.
I wish parents would have kept it open and talked more about it rather than just restricting - example, “Its not about sex before marriage but a loads of implications / consequences”. And still kept it open “knowing all the implications, even if you do indulge in sex, you can still share with us. As per our family value we will prefer sex only after marriage, but if it t happens before marriage, still share with us - so that we can support you wherever required”.

Sex education is not a closed room topic

• Talk about it more frequently
• Talk in day to day conversation
• Talk with openness
• Tell the facts, tell the truth. “Every sexual intercourse does not lead to pregnancy J” – If you are not telling, others will tell your child and they will be the source of information - not you.
• Instead of wishing "no more questions" ask your child, “what else, what more you think about this”?

Sex education like any other subject is beautiful. when you talk about it as any other topic with your child it no more remains a taboo or embarrassing.