Don't Read This Now
I told you "DON’T READ THIS NOW!" and YOU ARE STILL READING IT.
Ok, right now, dear parents, Don't think of rain!
WHAT! Again you are thinking of rain. I TOLD YOU.... This DON’T is really stubborn.
Ok, right now, dear parents, Don't think of rain!
WHAT! Again you are thinking of rain. I TOLD YOU.... This DON’T is really stubborn.
The more we say DON’T the more the other does it:
"Don’t run fast" and they run faster
"Don’t shout" and they go louder
"Don’t watch TV when I am away" and you bet what they do.
Actually DON’T is not funny – our brain is.
It simply ignores "don’t" and concentrates on the rest.
"Don’t run fast" and they run faster
"Don’t shout" and they go louder
"Don’t watch TV when I am away" and you bet what they do.
Actually DON’T is not funny – our brain is.
It simply ignores "don’t" and concentrates on the rest.
A simple reason why our ‘DON’T’S’ don’t succeed:
A small child is a carrying something and we shouts "Don’t drop it". Now confident child starts thinking about "dropping" and his mind gets tense and hands start shaking and he drops it! We remark, "See, I told you NOT TO drop it" What if we would have said, "Be careful!” Child starts thinking about being careful and takes more care and brain becomes attentive. Sure enough, negative statements beget negative consequences, positive ones positive. DON’T is the most common and widely used negative – especially in our INSTRUCTIONAL language.
How can we expect child’s cooperation when our language itself is negative! How many times do you use DON’T with your children in a day? Replace DON’T with a positive and suddenly the effectiveness shoots up. So instead of "Don’t run fast" try "walk slowly" Instead of "Don’t shout" try "speak softly" Instead of "Don’t watch TV when I am away" try "complete on your homework when I am away" Leave a positive thought in their mind to ponder on. However, at times a DON’T is necessary. For example, "Don’t touch the hot plate". However even this is sub-optimal because it leaves "hot plate" in the mind of your curious child. Follow it by a positive statement to make it more effective. Try, "Don’t touch the hot plate, keep your hand far from it." This makes the child think of ‘keeping far’. Where we put DON’T makes the difference.
If our communication consists, less of telling them what NOT TO do, instead telling them what TO DO, it will definitely foster more compliance and cooperation. Don't use Don't (We continue with strategies for eliciting cooperation in next few newsletters – send in your views/ own strategies)
By Ratnesh & Aditi Mathur
For www.geniekids.com
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