I Want To
From SHOULD to COULD to WANT TO.
Isn’t that what motivation is all about? First a small story: Our son, Ian, was just five years old. It was his bedtime, and toys were all over the living room. "Ian," I said, "you need to pick up all those toys before you go to bed." "Daddy," he said, "I'm too tired to pick up my toys." My immediate inclination was to force him to clean up the room. Instead, I went into the bedroom, laid down, and said, "Ian, come here. Let’s play Humpty Dumpty." He climbed up on my knees and I sang, "Humpty Dumpty sat ….. had a great fall." And he fell. Ian laughed and said, "Let's do it again." After the third "fall," I said, "Okay, but first go pick up those toys." Without thinking he ran into the living room and in two minutes finished what could have taken half an hour. Then back on my knees he repeated, "Daddy, let’s do it again." "Ian, I thought you were too tired to pick up those toys." He answered, "I was, daddy, but I just wanted to do this!" We can finish any job when we have the "Want to!"
Isn’t that what motivation is all about? First a small story: Our son, Ian, was just five years old. It was his bedtime, and toys were all over the living room. "Ian," I said, "you need to pick up all those toys before you go to bed." "Daddy," he said, "I'm too tired to pick up my toys." My immediate inclination was to force him to clean up the room. Instead, I went into the bedroom, laid down, and said, "Ian, come here. Let’s play Humpty Dumpty." He climbed up on my knees and I sang, "Humpty Dumpty sat ….. had a great fall." And he fell. Ian laughed and said, "Let's do it again." After the third "fall," I said, "Okay, but first go pick up those toys." Without thinking he ran into the living room and in two minutes finished what could have taken half an hour. Then back on my knees he repeated, "Daddy, let’s do it again." "Ian, I thought you were too tired to pick up those toys." He answered, "I was, daddy, but I just wanted to do this!" We can finish any job when we have the "Want to!"
Thank you Mr. Slatter for sharing this lovely learning. With most of us, it’s a matter of timing. It's not that we don’t want to do it. It's just that we want to something else RIGHT NOW. Impulsive as most children are, once the initial urge is over, you can get them to do anything. The critical issue here is that we respect and accept their "current (excited) state of mind". Anything against this "desire" is going to meet with resistance.
The big idea is to quickly diffuse this mental state and bring down the excitement levels. Give them a taste of it. Preferably, share it with them: Let’s say the child has to get ready to go out, but is delaying in moving away from the TV. "Just one more minute mamma", is the repeated request. Try this: "Ok dear, only one more minute. But I will watch with you". Now, become her: Watch the show with the same fascination. Lap up each frame. Say "wow" with her; giggle with her; frown with her. Enjoy the next minute exactly as she is doing. Do it sincerely. This is PACING.
Mr. Slatter above did the critical PACING so effectively. That is the big victory. Consequently, it is remarkably easy to LEAD. Once we have paced the child, she does what we want her to do. Through understanding, empathy and sometimes intuition, pace your child. This investment will yield high results.
{This amazingly effective "pacing and leading" is a NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) technique and works equally well with adults and children. Kindly refer literature for deeper understanding.}
By Ratnesh & Aditi Mathur
For www.geniekids.com
For www.geniekids.com
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