Myths about Developing Values

Myth 1 - We can teach values.

Myth 2 - We cannot teach values.

While we cannot teach values, children are always learning them - seeing how we operate in our real life. A mother slaps her child because she is irritated, then goes ahead and teaches the child to take care of others and never hit others :-) Bottom line: Our actions speak louder than words.

Myth 3 - There are some universal values which I must teach to my children.

There is only one thing that's universal and that is change. Rest is contextual! Yes, there are some common values like honesty and trust ... but show me a man who hasn't deviated from these values as per situation. So much for them being universal. Bottom line: Let’s help children realize the value of a value in their life and their times (which is different from our life and our times).

Myth 4 - Negative Values are not acceptable.

So greed is not good. But what if that makes me work harder! Oh, in that case we will call it ambition! Since values can be subjective, negativity itself is subjective. If it works for me, I keep it. Bottom line: Let’s enlarge the definition of effectiveness, not manage the tools that lead to it.
 

Myth 5 - We need to show negative values for children to learn positive.

Most moral stories operate on this principle - Show the bad versus good and
automatically good will make sense. One, you run the risk that child may like the 'bad' more (the drunk seem to be having all the fun). Two, in real life
things are not so clearly black and white. Bottom line: Just let the child have as many learning experiences - both good and bad. More 'data', more
sensitization, will probably help children refine their judgments better.

Myth 6 - A child does not know what is good from bad. 

Maybe true, but then, unless he learns how to discern what is good from bad we are only feeding him, not teaching how to fish! Bottom line: Lets again look at empowering them to become more aware of their decisions and resultant consequences.

By Ratnesh & Aditi Mathur
For www.geniekids.com

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