Writing Wish
Perhaps this incident will ring a familiar bell: We were in a bookstore when my daughter Asawari (2-1/2 yrs), who is very fond of books, also wanted to buy a few. She went about picking the books, some, which she already has. As usual, we said "No, you have these books so we cannot buy them now. No, just few days back we bought you books.” As expected this did not deter her, leading to obstinate insistence and then crying. More we tried explaining and pressurizing, more the situation became embarrassing. I got an idea - I took out one pen and paper and started writing all the books Asawari wanted to buy. I made small graphic for each book and wrote the names. Below in block letters I wrote "Asawari wants to buy these books". Asawari took that paper and got involved in reviewing her wish list. She forgot to cry and came out of the shop happily. She kept that paper with her. This write-the-wish strategy worked again. Asawari used to cry in the middle of the night and used to take 30-45 minutes to goes back to sleep. One night before going to sleep, we talked to her about this. Finally, we wrote on a paper "Asawari will not cry in the night. If she is feeling uncomfortable she will come and hug mummy or papa and then go back to sleep". We repeated this several times and went to sleep. Can you believe she has stopped crying in the night - not only in the night whenever she cries in the day time she keep reminds herself "Asawari will not cry" and stops crying. This worked inspite of Asawari not knowing how to read! After these two incidences, we made a notebook in which writes all her wishes and things our wishes related to her behavior; and it is working wonders.
Why it works is - writing down a wish makes children feel that this wish is being taken seriously, they feel respected and feel reassured. They also take written word more seriously - remember most of our instructions, commands, fights (and there are many) are verbal. So next time you face a stand-off, just write their wish or your wish down and let the magic of the written word begun.
By Ratnesh & Aditi Mathur
For www.geniekids.com
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